by S.R. Best
The simple nature of monogamous, heterosexual relationships between men & women has been under fire in the media, and even more so in social media. This has become one of the most divisive topics, and the subject of intense scrutiny. Between the #metoo movement’s demonization of men, the message of ‘toxic masculinity’ that our boys are confronted with daily and the increasing level of depression among women who in spite of their career successes, struggle to find qualified men to date. The state of the relationship between the sexes has deteriorated.
This may be much more pronounced in the last 2 years, but the decline has been happening for the last 50 years. And the results have had a catastrophic impact on the society we live in, and the social narrative. The fact that 50% of all marriages in the US end in divorce, has been a steady statistic for a very long time. So long and so widespread that it is impossible to meet anyone who hasn’t seen one up close, let alone been divorced. And the decisions that the millennials are making when it comes to marriage are often to delay as long as possible or not to marry at all.
The impact of the steady decline over the last 50 years has been devastating. Single parent households have left the children at risk for increased likelihood of dropping out of high school, increased depression, increased likelihood of committing suicide, drug use, teen pregnancy, delinquency, increased crime rates, fewer young men going to college, and producing fewer men with degrees. Regardless of your politics, this means that there are fewer and fewer ‘qualified’ men for women to date.
The gender competition has no winners and leaves a wake of loneliness and misery that manifests itself in our social fabric.
There is a growing groundswell of men and women who have been through the grinder and have decided that they want to pursue the fulfillment and happiness that comes with experiencing the adventure of life with someone. To share the priceless memories that money can’t buy, and corner offices don’t produce.
So how does something as simple as a relationship between two people have anything to do with the ills of our current state? Nobody gets into a relationship thinking that it’s their contribution to the healing of a society in decay. It doesn’t need to be that altruistic. It can be somewhat self-serving. And it needs to be. In fact, the focus starts with you.
It is my belief that the relationship between men and women is the nucleus of the family. The family is the backbone of our communities. Communities form the foundation of a society. But it starts with the relationship between men & women. Sure, there are other combinations that comprise a family, but nature, throughout the universe, is a delicate balance. Darkness and light. Negative and Positive. Hot and Cold. Yin and Yang. Male & female are an intrinsic part of that balance in nature.
Not just in our species but in all species. Each contributes to the whole and complement each other. Yes, I am fully aware that this is ‘offensive’ to some. If you’ve read my book, Tough Love: A Relationship Manual for Men & Women you already know my position on that.
This is why I am so passionate about the value of relationship coaching for men & women. The book forms the foundation of my approach to relationship coaching. The paradigm shift is based on cutting to the core of the issues, without apologies, to truly focus on understanding our own essential nature as well as that of the opposite sex. When we truly understand what motivates us as well as the other sex, we find the fulfillment we’ve been seeking all along.
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